April 24, 2011
Simple-happy
The weekend went well. An unexpectedly peaceful service at the church, in the passion of someone I've always had issues with. I think I take to a story-telling approach better than the holy spirit kind. A movie that brings time back and forth, and then stretches it a little more, just like many of the same kind. But, it's still good. An expensive dinner and drinks at a pretty comfortable place, so near yet so well-hidden, with two of my favourite persons - Emman and Bblics. Subdued background music that was supposed to be a live band performance. I liked the small talk; I relished the silence. Dim Sum and HK-wannabe food with our mutual friends, and Emman's sis. If only my tummy was a little less cranky...Shopping with Mummy and sisters, followed by a nice massage with Emman. Finally... finally, I'm sitting down, quieting down, just listening to soft rock weekend for the last 2 hours, before weekend bids farewell and it's yet another new work week. Special mention must be made of a rather cranky and gassy tummy, and a really sweet and patient boyfriend who tended to it with ointment and oily palms. At the same time, finding his gf's tummy cute. Not withstanding that the schedule shows a pretty hectic week ahead, the weekend went well. I'm glad it did.
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 22:53
April 13, 2011
Apple, the Aries.
Happy Birthday, friend of 19 years! That's more than half our lives!
The struggles to keep awake in class, the Chinese love ballads that were so old-school, the tutorials (with all my answers) passed around and shared, the unsolved mysteries, the love mistakes, the seeking of new relationships, the romantic and unforgettable (almost) moments, the ups and downs of dating, the challenge of wedding planning, the fresh new look at married life, motherhood...
Cheers for many more years to come, laughing, bitching and just growing!
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 23:33
April 11, 2011
feeling lousy
Recently, I've been feeling rather low in the slumps. Mainly because of work.
I just found out that I have actually missed out a significant part of learning from the trainnig slides that I was given. The worst thing is, I have not even bothered to print it out. Honestly? I feel really, really bad and ashamed of myself.
This is something that should not have happened. I paid for the training, I attended it dutifully and I was really thinking during the training. Why is it, then, that I discarded or forgot important bits of it after the training? Worse, because of this, I have upsetted the progress of a child and things are really not going easy for me, neither for the child's progress.
If I had indeed taken this seriously, I should not have let this happen. Why, then, was I so negligent?
Thinking back on the days in PL, training was a weekly business and my then-colleagues and I sometimes bitched about it. It was really tiring to attend hours of training after a day's work with the pupils, and at the back of our minds was more work that needed to be done. We couldn't absorb and we sometimes, even dozed off despite the trainer's best intentions. Ironic now that I miss those days. I find I hardly have a span of a few hours to sit down, be quiet, clear my mind and be focused on just reading these days. Let alone learning. I know there are so many things to be done, prepare and revise. I just either lack the time or the discipline, or both, to do it. As a result, again, I find myself stuck in between - neither the better, nor the worse. I do not like that at all. A voice within is raising alarm. A struggle is within, and waiting to surface. Argh!!!
One thing is always after the other. One decision needed after another. One obligation after another. One responsibility after the other. The mind is always so cluttered, so relieved only because an item has been checked off just so that a new one can take its place.
What I really, really want now... is a period of time to clear my mind, clear my prep-work backlog and pick up some real reading materials to study, learn and think. Think a lot on how theory can be applied, how application can be grounded in theory.
What I really need now is thus, discipline. Something, that I realised, was more readily found a few years ago. Something that is more ominous when there is a group of like-minded people or colleagues around.
A few times, I feel like crying to just let it out. Even that... didn't turn out as easy as it used to be.
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 23:45
April 01, 2011
Interview with the father
The 'father' is without caps. So, it's not who you think he is. He's just the father, aka the priest of the church. Has not happened; due to happen in the course of the RCIA process.
I'm honestly, not very much keen in interviews, much less one with a priest. I mean, what would we talk about? Yes. Jesus, of course. What else? Or is it, 'who' else?
It's been more than a month since I started on the RCIA process, with Emman as my companion. I have found a total of one song that sounds pretty decent and partook in none prayers and singing (not even for that one song). It just, still, doesn't feel right or comfortable.
God knows that I'm a believer in Him. That should matter. But, to have a relationship with God via a channel, especially one headed by a man who died and resurrected to prove his divinity? That, in my opinion, is just trying too hard to convince.
A miracle is needed. I suppose, my completing the process would be one in itself.
Dear God, man is easily confused and when desperate, would believe anything anyone tells them. Are you sure Jesus was you? Or was he just another one of your apostles?
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 17:45